生活情感的搞笑短句子英文(生活搞笑短视频)

1.
I
asked
my
wife
what
she
wants
for
her
birthday.
She
said,
"Nothing
would
make
me
happier
than
a
diamond
ring!"
So
I
bought
her
nothing.
【#HilariousLifeQuotes】

2.
I
tried
to
catch
some
fog
earlier,
but
I
mist.
【#BadPunsForLife】

3.
My
wife
and
I
have
decided
not
to
have
children.
We
will
be
telling
them
tonight
at
dinner.
【#PunnyLifeHumors】

4.
I
told
my
wife
she
was
drawing
her
eyebrows
too
high.
She
looked
surprised.
【#MarriageLaughs】

5.
Just
once,
I'd
like
to
get
up
in
the
morning
and
be
as
excited
about
it
as
my
penis
is.
【#LifeStruggles】

6.
I'm
starting
meetings
at
work
with
a
fun
game
called
"Spot
the
Stressed
Out
Employee".
【#OfficeHumors】

7.
Marriage
is
like
a
deck
of
cards.
In
the
beginning,
all
you
need
is
two
hearts
and
a
diamond.
By
the
end,
you
wish
you
had
a
club
and
a
spade.
【#RelationshipJokes】

8.
My
mother-in-law
said
to
me
at
dinner,
"Can
you
pass
me
the
salt,
please?"
I
said,
"Certainly,
but
you'll
have
to
tell
me
if
it
tastes
better
than
your
own
cooking. "
【#InLawLaughs】

9.
I
told
my
wife
she
was
wrong
for
ironing
my
shirts.
She
asked,
"Why,
what's
wrong
with
it?"
I
replied,
"Nothing,
it
just
takes
the
wrinkles
out
of
my
perfectly
creased
sleeves. "
【#MarriageJokes】

10.
My
girlfriend
told
me
to
go
out
and
get
something
that
makes
her
look
sexy.
So
I
got
drunk.
【#BoyfriendProblems】

11.
My
wife
said
to
me,
"I'm
not
talking
to
you
until
you
clean
your
closet. "
I
said,
"You
might
as
well
start
talking
to
me
then. "
【#HusbandWoes】

1
2.
I
told
my
wife
she
looked
fat
in
her
new
dress.
She
said,
"Oh
well,
you
don't
look
so
great
in
your
pajamas
either. "
【#MarriageLaughs】

1
3.
I
told
my
wife
I
was
going
to
make
a
bike
out
of
spaghetti.
She
said,
"That's
ridiculous,
you're
going
to
need
a
lot
of
sauce. "
【#SillyJokes】

1
4.
Did
you
know
Santa
had
only
one
child?
He
was
an
only
sleigh.
【#ChristmasHumors】

1
5.
I
asked
my
girlfriend
what
she
wanted
for
her
birthday.
She
said,
"Just
something
that
will
make
me
look
sexy. "
So
I
bought
her
a
box
of
chocolates.
【#RelationshipJokes】

1
6.
My
wife
said
to
me,
"If
I
die
before
you,
I
want
you
to
promise
me
one
thing. "
I
said,
"What's
that?"
She
replied,
"I
want
you
to
find
someone
better. "
【#MarriageHumors】

1
7.
My
wife
said
to
me,
"I'm
going
to
have
to
get
a
new
dress
for
the
wedding. "
I
replied,
"Why?
You
already
have
one
in
your
closet. "
She
said,
"That's
my
funeral
dress. "
【#MarriageLaughs】

1
8.
I
told
my
wife,
"You
know,
I
was
thinking
about
getting
a
tattoo. "
She
asked,
"Where?"
I
said,
"On
my
face. "
She
asked,
"What
kind?"
I
replied,
"A
mask. "
【#SillyJokes】

1
9.
My
wife
asked
me,
"If
you
could
have
sex
with
anyone
in
the
world,
who
would
it
be?"
I
said,
"You. "
She
said,
"Aww,
that's
sweet. "
I
replied,
"But
it's
the
truth.
I'm
really
not
attracted
to
anyone
else. "
【#MarriageJokes】

20.
My
wife
asked
me,
"Why
do
you
always
make
fun
of
me?"
I
said,
"Because
it's
cheaper
than
therapy. "
【#MarriageLaughs】